These are the ramblings and rantings of a nurse. The disclaimer: The emotions are real but the people's names and circumstances are fictionalized and changed to protect their identity. Any resemblance to real life people and circumstances is purely coincidental. This blog was born out of my need to vent my personal feelings and share my professional experiences with death and dying, caring for and saving lives.
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i found ur site in Rose' (sistersalvation) friends list & i got interested with the "Nurse" thingy bcoz my hubby and bro are both nurses too. 
i'll be back here for updates. bye for now
. Have a good one! 
Has it ever crossed your mind what will it be like when you're old and gray? 
Of course, we can easily envision those physical changes that come with aging. We only have to look at our own parents and grandparents to see the possibilities and the inevitable. What I really mean to ask are about the other repercussions that come it such as illness, debility, and memory loss. Ever since I worked at a long term care facility (years ago), otherwise known as the dreaded "nursing home" 
, I asked myself these questions. What will I be like? Will I be the pleasant and benevolent type who seems to be liked by everybody (like their favorite grandma) or the type who is persnickety and cantankerous whom everybody avoids? I'd like to think it will be the former, I hope so... but another issue comes to mind. Will I still have my wits when that time comes? I shudder to think of the possibility... 
I once came across a patient named Anna*. 
She was in her early 70s. She was living a normal productive life at a nice retirement home in the West Coast when things started to change. She became increasingly forgetful, having visual hallucinations and with difficulty speaking. She once went to a bank and could not remember where she was and why she was there. It became apparent that she was unsafe on her own so her family decided to bring her to the Midwest so she can be looked after by another family member. Soon after arriving, the symptoms increased so she was brought to the hospital and had some tests done. The results pointed to a diagnosis of possible Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease or CJD.
According to Wikipedia:
Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) is a very rare and incurable brain disease that is ultimately fatal. It is the most common of the transmissible spongiform encephalopathies (TSEs). TSEs (also known as prion diseases) are caused by a unique type of infectious agent called prions, an abnormally-structured form of a protein found in the brain.
Although CJD is the most common human prion disease, it is still extremely rare and only occurs in about one out of every one million people. It usually affects people aged 45-75, most commonly appearing in people between the ages of 60-65. The exception to this is the more recently-recognised 'variant' CJD (vCJD), which occurs in younger people. The first symptom of CJD is rapidly progressive dementia, leading to memory loss, personality changes and hallucinations. This is accompanied by physical problems such as speech impairment, jerky movements (myoclonus), balance and coordination dysfunction (ataxia), changes in gait, rigid posture, and seizures. The duration of the disease varies greatly, but sporadic (non-inherited) CJD can be fatal within months or even weeks.
Due to the poor prognosis of this disease, the family decided to forgo any pursuits of aggressive treatment and the patient was referred to palliative care. Her disease was indeed progressing increasingly. She was unable to speak and walk and was at risk for seizures. She wouldn't eat or drink, became incontinent and seemed oblivious to her environment. 
How heartbreaking it must be for the family to see her like this. I just hope that her remaining days will be painless and comfortable. She was lucky to have a supportive family who I feel will be with her till the end. Not all of us can say that... sadly.
* not her real name
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